Tom's Journal

3:07pm: The man can not stop dying
So, as I'm sure everyone has heard, Captain America died. As my brother remarked "What a stupid decision" It was indeed a stupid, heavy handed political symbol in the wake of the most recent Marvel mega-event "Civil War." Making it even stupider is the fact that, as I discovered, Captain America has "died" (symbolically or literally) nine times before this. Nine times! This makes 10- freaking double digits! For more details, check out-

http://filingcabinetofthedamned.blogspot.com/2005/06/like-jesus-but-with-fisticuffs.html

4:10pm: Holy Crap!
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117957532.html?categoryid=1236&cs=1&p=0

Song of Ice and Fire TV show! HBO! GRRM writing an episode!


aaaaaarrrrgghhhhhhhhhhh!

This is th best thing that has ever happened, ever. Ever.

4:55pm: First, a heartwarming tale of the Internet not being horrible:

http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2006/12/08/a-friday-tale-of-two-ts/


then, one for Leeman:

http://www.apple.com/trailers/newline/thenumber23/


PS there is also a trailer for a Bridge to Terebithia move which don't look to good. Although, it might just be deceptive marketing.

http://www.apple.com/trailers/disney/bridgetoterabithia/

3:44pm: So, this is me.
http://www.rpg.net/columns/clerical/clerical1.phtml

AHHHHH!!!!! terror terror terror terror. This is stomach-falling out terrifying!

Wish me luck...

11:24am: The Church of Laura Roslyn of Latter Day Colonists
So, I was watching an episode of Galactica last night, and they mentioned the Quorum of 12. And that phrase seemed weirdly familiar. Then this morning I remembered that the ruling council of the Mormon church is the Quorum of 12 Apostles. Which assist the President of the Church, who is also the Prophet, believed to recieve divine guidance and revelation. And the Mormons believe that there was an ancient exodus of a family from Israel to America. And they also historically had their own exodus, fleeing persecution by the gentiles in Missouri to freedom in Utah....

So, maybe I'm just taking crazy pills or over religion-majoring things, but that's a hell of a coincidence.

11:24pm: Super Jesus!
http://www.supermanhomepage.com/movies/movies.php?topic=interview-singer2

A very interesting interview with Bryan Singer talling about religious imagery and symbolism in Superman Returns. Yes, it was all totally intentional.

7:58pm: Song of Juice and Graham Crachers
So, I was at my school's book fair, browsing through the children's section, and I found a very interesting, irresistable little item.

The Winter Dragon, by George R.R. Martin.

He...wrote a chidlren's book.

So, the obvious questions-
1. No, it's not in Westros.
2. Yes, it's incredibly, incredibly good. Incredibly.
3. Of course it's all- ages appropriate! As long as you consider the following material all-age appropriate.

Severed limbs, gangrenous limbs, people being burned alive, and oh yes, an oblique reference to rape.

Oh George, don't ever change!



PS- The man loves him some dragons.

8:52am: they call me mr. glass
http://www.the-scientist.com/article/daily/24837/

The prophecies of M. Night Shamalan- they are coming!

6:09pm: heil magic!
http://archive.salon.com/tech/feature/2001/03/23/wizards/index.html

very interesting article about the history of Wizards of the Coast.

turns out their founder was a weird, weird guy. Also, includes the best way to quit your job- EVAR!

See y'all on Friday!

9:36am: I am sitting in detention and bored, so I'll try that character thingee.

12 characters....let's see.

1: Quick Nick, Cockney thief and nare-do-well.

2: Job, brooding, tortured Just this- side- of- Euthanatos Chorister (also me).

3: Bochutta, hyperactive little git.

4: Bochukka, money grubbing little git.

5: Tomash, amoral bastard.

6: Julian Hammer, Nihilistic billionaire.

7: Markos, slightly crazy war-vet blacksmith.

8: Matteo, mafiosa thug his says his prayers every night.

9: Marysol Diaz, sassy-vampire drug ho-ghost. My most beloved NPC ever!

10: Vampire Pimp, my most hated NPC ever!

11: Rekma, cleric of Morrow and most moral character I've ever played.

12: Milosh, creepy and dangerous vampire.

I don;t know hoe to line break! Sorry for the giant post!

Questions---

1 - Who would make a better college professor, 6 [Julian Hammer] or 11 [Rekma]? What subjects would they teach?

Rekma. Religion.

2 - Do you think 2 [Job] is hot? How hot?

Pretty damn hot. Chicks dig the brooding types.

3 - 12 [Milosh] sends 8 [Matteo] on a mission. What is it, and does it succeed?

The mission is to mess up someone who is interfering in undead "family" buisness. The mission succeeds, and Matteo feels really bad about it.

4 - What is or would be 9's [Marysol's] favorite book?

TV Guide, or some trashy Spanish romance novel.

5 - Would it make more sense for 2 [Job] to swear loyalty to 6 [Julian Hammer], or the other way around?

The first one, terrifyingly enough.

6 - For some reason, 5 [Tomash] is looking for a roommate. Should he/she share a studio apartment with 9 [Marysol] or with 10 [Vampire Pimp]?

Um, whoever he though would be to his advanatdge. Probably Marysol. He's been burned by vampires before...

7 - 2 [Job], 7 [Markos] and 12 [Milosh] have dinner together. Where do they go, and what do they discuss?

They go somewhere that serves eastern european food, and The first two kill Milosh in an epic battle of righteous fury and crazy. Job prays and Markos blacks out and blocks the whole night. Markos and Job later have a lovely conversation on the importance of tradition and family values.

8 - 3 [Bochutta] challenges 10 [Vampire Pimp] to a duel. What happens?

Um, Yikes. The only thing I can think to answer is destruction. Glorious, horrible destruction. Like, barbarian invasion of Rome destruction.

9 - If 1 [Quick Nick] stole 8's [Matteo] most precious possession, how would s/he get it back?

Poison

10 - Suggest a title for a story in which 7 [Julian Hammer] and 12 [Milosh] both attain what they most desire.

The World is Blown up Except for Milosh and his Food.

11 - What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted 4 [Bochukka] and 1 [Quick Nick] to work together?

Look, it's the annual Very Stupid Rich People festival!

12 - If 7 [Markos] visited you for the weekend, how would you get along?

Probably, unless I triggered a flashback and he beat me to bloody goo.

13 - If you could command 3 [Bochutta] to perform any one task or service for you, what would it be?

Go away and never come back.

14 - Does anyone on your friends list write or draw pictures of 11 [Rekma]?

Not to my knowledge

15 - If 2 [Job] had to choose sides between 4 [Bochukka] and 5 [Tomash], which would it be?

Um, Tomash, I suppose. He would probablt think Bochukka was a demon of some sort.

16 - What might 10 [Vampire Pimp] shout while charging into battle?

Die, you stupid worthless biatch!

17 - If you chose a song to represent 8 [Matteo], which song would you choose?

"Godfather" theme.

18 - 1 [Quick Nick], 6 [Julian Hammer], and 12 [Milosh] are having dim sum at a Chinese restaurant. There is only one scallion pancake left, and they all reach for it at the same time. Who gets to eat it?

Milosh, after much carnage and bloodshed.

19 - What might be a good pick-up line for 2 [Job] to use on 10 [Vampire Pimp]?

Um, "I might wait a little before sending you back to hell, foul demon of the abyss?"

20 - What would 5 [Tomash] most likely be arrested for?

Oh boy...
Assault, aggrivated assault, theft, breaking and entering, extortion, torture, petty theft, solicitation, kidnapping, arson, murder, and murder. Just off the top of my head.

21 - What is 6's [Julian Hammer] secret?

he...wants the world to end?

22 - If 11 [Rekma] and 9 [Marysol] were racing to a destination, who would get there first?

Rekma. Marysol can't leave the house.

23 - If you had to walk home through a bad neighbourhood late at night, would you feel safer in the company of 7 [Markos] or 8 [Matteo]?

Markos. He's a law-and-order man.

24 - If 4 [Bochukka] gave 10 [Vampire Pimp] a birthday present, what would s/he be likely to give him/her?

um...grenades?

Wow, that worked frighteningly well.

7:32pm: So, I am finally breaking my long LJ silence to present a series of wonderful tidbits, amny of them (surprise) Comic book related.

1: The trailer for a japanese video game called metal Wolf Chaos. Quite simply the best thing in human history. My brother and I were quoting it for weeks.

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=5722


Nothing is pointless, because I am the President of the Great United States of America!
RIIICCHHHHAAARRRDDDD!

2: I don't know if they have the emmys in canada, but the opening and the Stephen Colbert/jon Stewart bits were pretty damn fabulous.

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=6312

http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=6304

Kneel before you God, Babylon|

3: What if Stan Lee wrote Watchmen?

http://www.beaucoupkevin.com/2006/08/this-weeks-project.html

Go to the Veidt Building! that silver-tounged charmer must have some idea who is behind this nefarious plot against our team!

4: Some cool comic book trivia tidbits at an awesome site, Comic book urban legends.

Like the origin of Nightcrawler:
http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/2006/07/20/comic-book-urban-legends-revealed-60/

Or that the co- creator of elfquest used to dress

7:26pm: Cry for the Moon!
ah, the japanese X men. Fighting for a japan that hates and fears them.


http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=2828

And in season 2, a little love triangle gets introduced


http://www.poetv.com/video.php?vid=2908

PS, I will pay any amount of money to see this...


SHOCK!

10:59am: Yub Nub!
http://www.starwars.com/episode-iv/release/video/news20060503.html

Yes. Oh, hell yes!

In the words of Jar Jar binks (which I will never own)

Weesa Won!

2:29pm: Harry Potter Epsicopagan!
http://www.battlecreekenquirer.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060303/LIFESTYLE08/603030323/1032


damnit, Jack Chick might be right...

9:31am: something for Rachel the Elder
http://www.lichfield.anglican.org/pressr/articles/2006/060224a.htm

I didn't even know there was a St Chad...

8:40am: peaaaaceee! Gelfiling peaccceee hmmmmmm
So, the more I learn about this movie:

http://www.muppetcentral.com/news/2006/020106.shtml

the happier I am. Dark Crystal sequel! Brian Froud design work! Gendy freaking Tartovsky directing! all signs pointy to awesome. also, Queen Kira looks spectacular.

2:36pm: Warning
Contents hot! Possible side effects include procrastination, laughter, and your mind being blown!

http://www.cs.washington.edu/homes/natetrue/gar.html

3:09pm: Ohhhhhhhh I'ma gonna go to hell when I die! I'ma gonna go to hell when I die!
Re: 5 guily pleasures.

I got tagged with this a while back, and it's too funny not to share.

1. Tom: "Yeah, one of my deep dark secrets is that,deep down I find Protestantism a little ridiculous"
Rachel: "Honey, that's not a secret."

Also, I'm watching the great Anglican Communion crack-up with a sort of vicious amusement.

2. I love Superman. Love him. I will read, listen to, or watch almost anything with Superman. (see Smallville)

3. I have terrible, terrible taste in music. I secretly listen to shitty pop music when I'm alone.

4. I love stupid, stupid comedies full of fart jokes and breasts. (see Road Trip)

5. I am incredibly lazy. And that combines with my intelligence to allow me to coast through academic life (see Phenomenology class)

2:08pm: Big Jobs!
This could be the best thing ever

http://www.variety.com/index.asp?layout=upsell_article&articleID=VR1117935766&categoryID=13&cs=1

Is Bruce Campbell doing anything?

Comment thread topic: Discworld movies. What would work, what would not, what would be the best way to manage the franchise.

7:56pm: "The Purrrfect plan"
So, I saw Catwoman last week.

It really, really sucked.

Yes, yes, don’t die of shock.

But would I be me if I didn’t take this opportunity to illustrate and describe exactly how and to what degrees it sucked? So, I will thusly proceed to scrawl my opinions on that global bathroom wall, The Internet. I’m like that McDonald’s movie guy, but for crap movies.

So… We begin with the opening credits montage, which coincidentally is the first flaw of the movie. It’s a collection of “Cat-Women” pictures from different historical eras. The montage is an okay set up for the asinine metaphysics of the show, but it’s like 4 minutes long. Later in the movie “Patience Philips” is researching Cat-Women, and we get basically the same montage for another 2-3 minutes, just with different music.

Explanatory note the first: This movie is completely free from the traditional DC comics “Catwoman” character, Selina Kyle, acrobatic and daring jewel thief. Instead we have Patience Philips, shy, modest, and repressed artist/graphic designer. If only some traumatic event can free the super-vixen within!

Explanatory note the second: This is stolen from Batman Returns.

So, Our Heroine is working as an ad designer for an evil cosmetics company that has produced a new product that miraculously reduces signs of aging. However, the cream is addictive and causes terrible pain and eventual deformity if not taken regularly!

Explanatory note the third: This is stolen from Batman: The Animated Series.

Patience accidentally discovers this terrible secret, and is killed by her employers! Fortunately, a bunch of cats gather around her and she returns to life…as Catwoman!

Explanatory note the fourth: This is also stolen from Batman Returns.

Patience discovers her new super agility and cat-like personality, even pursuing a sexy cop she met. She and the cop have a super-agile, flirty game of basketball on a playground, surrounded by cheering children.

Explanatory note the fifth: This is stolen from Daredevil.

We eventually discover that Patience is just one of a long line of ancient Cat-Women, empowered by the Egyptian cat- goddess Bast.

Explanatory note the sixth: This is spectacularly stupid.

Also, the entire movie is like a music video, full of a thumping soundtrack and more quick-cuts then you can shake a camera at; the fight scenes in particular gave me a headache.

So, if you want to watch a fascinating re-invention of an iconic comic book character, watch Batman Begins. If you want to watch a two-hour-long piece of shit music video, watch Catwoman.

Yes, that "Purrrfect plan" line is a direct quote. That's the level of quality we are dealing with, people.

2:18pm: uh oh, Narnia's mad at us!
http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/films/articles/21240406?source=Metro

heh. Susan Aslan.

12:04pm: C.S. Lewis
"In the middle of winter when fogs and rains most abound, (the Niatirbians) have a great festival called Exmas, and for 50 days they prepare for it (in the manner which is called,) in their barbarian speech, the Exmas Rush.

"When the day of the festival comes, most of the citizens, being exhausted from the (frenzies of the) Rush, lie in bed till noon. But in the evening they eat five times as much as on other days, and crowning themselves with crowns of paper, they become intoxicated. And on the day after Exmas, they are very grave, being internally disordered by the supper and the drinking and the reckoning of how much they have spent on gifts and on the wine.

"(Now a) few among the Niatirbians have also a festival, separate and to themselves, called Crissmas, which is on the same day as Exmas. And those who keep Crissmas, doing the opposite to the majority of Niatirbians, rise early on that day with shining faces and go before sunrise to certain temples where they partake of a sacred feast.

"But (as for) what Hecataeus says, that Exmas and Crissmas are the same, (this) is not credible. It is not likely that men, even being barbarians, should suffer so many and so great things (as those involved in the Exmas Rush), in honor of a god they do not believe in."

1:32pm: Hairy Polarity and the Sinister Sorcery Satire
Yes, everyone's favorite Jack Chick-meets-Chris Claremont website www.thetruthforyouth.com is back, with new Manga stylings! Now when the pervert father says the porn sites are a good education there are speed lines and grimicing facial expressions, so everythings really, really dramatic.

Sadly, only the first 7 pages of the Harry Potter one are up.

3:43pm: Spite!
I fucking hate Philip Pullman
I hope God sends bears to eat him, and then he goes to an ironic, Dante-esque hell where he’s dipped in something molten and C.S. Lewis pokes him with a spear.

So, P.P. has been getting a lot of play these days because of the Narnia movie (very good, BTW). P. P. is a very outspoken critic of C.S. Lewis. As well as being an aggressive atheist. I know he’s an aggressive atheist, because he splashes his religious issues all over the pages of his own Young Adult series, “His Dark Materials”

Confession time: I’ve only read the first two books, and I am mentally debating reading the third one or not. It just seems like the second one wasn’t nearly as good as the first, so I’m thinking the third one will be even worse.

Now, the series begins with a depressingly good first book, the Golden Compass. The main Character, Lyra, discovers that her Uncle, Philip Pull … I mean, Lord Asrael is involved in a dangerous conspiracy opposed by the EVIL Christian Church and other EVIL authority figures. During this discovery, she gets the magical artifact, the Plot Device…I mean Golden Compass, which advances the plot…I mean tells the truth of any situation.
In the second book, she discovers Philip Pull… I mean Lord Asrael is actually going to kill God.

Now, it should be pretty obvious why this series is called the anti- Narnia. However, there’s a key difference and that is the Narnia books are much, much better.

“But Tom!” you say “you’re Christian! Of course you think the Narnia books are better!”

Yes, that is true. And I will address the religion thing in a minute. I want to focus on the objective, writing quality aspect. I said the first book in the series is the best, and that is because it is the least preachy. Yes, I said preachy. These books are incredibly, incredibly strident anti-religion preaching. No one will ever say “Oh, His Dark Materials? I read those when I was a kid and didn’t even pick up on the religious subtext!” Because there is no subtext, just text. You get to read a trilogy of novels where P.P. works out his “Dad made me go to church” issues. It’s as fun as a really, really annoying person who won’t shut up.

Also, his characters are much more one dimensional then those of Narnia. In the first two books I don’t see any ambiguity. Characters are cruel, venial, wicked Team Religion or brave, noble, self sacrificing Team Awesome. My favorite is Philip Pull…I mean Lord Asrael. He is the one who, we are told, is going to kill God by force of awesome. And in case you might forget how awesome he is, you will be told over and over and over again. Now an unhelpful writer like C.S. Lewis might be content to show you characters acting good or evil and let you make the decision from there, but not P.P.! You will damn well know who is good (Atheist) and who is bad (Christian)! If he didn’t tell us we might not know. There is more subtle ambiguity in one scene in “The Last Battle” then in all of the first two books of this series.

Finally, on to the actual religion debate. Now, I’m going to make three, in my mind uncontroversial points.

The first is that it is clear he is not close to anyone who is religious, and makes not a single attempt to understand the point of view of a religious person. The only motives ascribed are villainy, oppression, and power hunger.

The second is that he is remarkably ignorant of history, specifically religious history. He sets up a simplistic “freedom/reason vs. religion” dichotomy and claims that this is the eternal struggle of human history. Now, this is an absolutely appalling claim to anyone with as much as a semester of undergraduate history. But never let ignorance get in the way of the triumph of reason, I guess.

Finally, the most amusing, and by amusing, I mean sad and pathetic aspect of the books philosophical content is this: he is fighting a battle already lost. He is fighting for an enlightenment- freedom/reason vs religion model of thought that is already an intellectual fossil of Western culture.

I mean, does anyone buy that “Prometheus unbound” progress through reason crap anymore? I thought a little event called “the 20th century” put the lie to that misconception.

The DaVinci Code, for all its many, many problems and horrors was at least propaganda for a contemporary philosophical fad. “His Dark Materials”….isn’t. Philip Pullman is a classical atheist born 50 years too late, into a world that isn’t listening or caring. And that, in the end, is why this is less damaging to our national intellect then the DVC (rant to come). I don’t think there’s any real danger of this making a generation of out of date pseudo-intellectuals.

“His Dark Materials” will never match Narnia. Philip Pullman will always be just the anti-C.S. Lewis, interesting for his opposition to a real, important author; not for his own strident, hateful, intellectually moribund, depressingly imaginative fiction. If he had toned down his own issues some, he could have written a classic.

But he didn’t.

I still hope God kills him with bears, though.

9:38am: So, I'm not dead
Yup, I’m alive. A terrible correspondent, as you all have realized by now, but alive. I get this journal because It seems like the best way to keep in touch with people (plus I keep missing those livejournal fads.)

So, anyway- alive. I’ve got a job, and I like it a lot. I’m teaching religion and doing campus ministry at St. Mary’s Ryken high School in southern Maryland. I love the job, very, very much. It’s the first good job I’ve probably ever had. Also, I get to live in an on-campus facility rent-free! Oh yeah. I can finally waste my money on the things I’ve always wanted to waste it on!

Expect more then yearly updates, now